I want to walk on stilts...naked
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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