32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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