He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize