I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
