He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
