tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just gift wrapped bread.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
