I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
one might say we're banned from that church
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
