Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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