Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
