dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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