I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
