sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
