Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have aggressive nipples.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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