It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
