Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize