this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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