thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
