somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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