would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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