I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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