i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
