i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
