It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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