the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
two words...techno handjob
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
