i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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