He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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