I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
