break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
