mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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