It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize