What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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