Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
