another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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