The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
