They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
