I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
