He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
