is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
