a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
