Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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