Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize