I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
