I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize