The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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