If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
its not stalking. its research.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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