I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
