Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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