just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
