You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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