the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
