Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
birth control should be required to get into college
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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