tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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