hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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