I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
