My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
