i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize