I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
