i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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