its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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