Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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