thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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