As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
