Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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