We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
