I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
