you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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