Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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