I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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